Wed 25 Apr 2007
VT MURDERS
My brother wrote this, and my response to him follows:
“Formula for a Killer…and Bullying
What kind of monster would take innocent lives with no remorse? Who could take a gun in their hands and hold it to another, who is tearfully begging and pleading for their life, and pull the trigger with no change in expression and move on to the next victim? Any man.
We like to believe that such behavior is so outside the norm, that they are freaks we have nothing in common with. They are vicious beasts that prey on the pure hearted. Truth be told, this is far from the truth. History tells us a different story. Violence is in our nature. Our feelings of hate, greed, vengfullness, even anxiety are mitigated by love, compassion, honor, empathy, and social acceptance (and don’t forget fear…but lets keep the positives positive). Much of that is learned from the guidance of others and through life experience.
I do believe in the intrinsic goodness of humanity. I have found in my life so many great people who show such selfless compassion for others that I take pause. However, our capacity for good will is equal to our capacity for ill will. For every Mother Theresa there is a Stalin. For every Martin Luther King there is a Hitler. Further, given the right conditions, a good person can do some bad things and vice versa. And where life takes us shapes us into who we are.
That being said, what brings a man to become a monster? There are many underpinnings to what psychologist refers to as antisocial personality disorder. Follow the link if you are interested in reading about it. Some of it is genetic. I truly think that some of us are just born a little “meaner” than others. That can only be part of the picture though.
If you take someone with the predisposition of violence and general lack of empathy for the pain and suffering of others and raise them in a home where there is very little affection and the discipline is more authoritarian, place them in an environment where they feel like an outsider, they are picked on, and the adults in their lives either turn a blind eye, or sometimes even encourage or participate in the social ostrification, then you have a perfect formula for creating a sociopath.
I may blog in more detail some other time about the mind of a sociopath, but for this blog, I wanted to talk about how bullying can play a role in this process and what I think is a problem in today’s schools.
Many of us have been a victim of bullying, and many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have done a bit of bullying. I don’t mean dotting a smaller kid’s eye and taking his lunch money, though THAT is bullying too. I mean laughing at, and even purposefully rejecting someone with the intent of causing emotional pain. Many of us stopped doing this once we reached adulthood (though I have seen many examples of it in the bloggosphere). But children are still learning lessons in compassion and empathy, and as children, most of us did have our moments. Children do it; it is a fact of life.
Our schools do not do enough to curb and even stop bullying. Schools, teachers, administrators can and should do their part to deal with bullying through rules against such behavior and, most importantly, educating students on being compassionate toward one another.
Most bullying hinges on one “ism” or another, whether it is racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, ableism, heterosexism, or my personal “favorite” and the devil of them all, classism. People are poor, or ugly, or nappy haired, or a fag, or big nosed, or fat, or gimp, or weak. There are so many reasons to hate, to ridicule one another.
I don’t think as much as changed since I was in school as one would hope. I recall the rampant bullying. I was given a wedgy, put in a sleeper hold till I nearly blacked out, and worse of all laughed at by my peers on numerous occasions. On the other hand, I laughed at others, and even pushed a boy into the bushes once in 7th grade. Much of the verbal abuse was done in the presence of teachers. In some instances, I witnessed teachers participating and encouraging the abuse. And don’t kid yourself, it IS abuse.
So why are we surprised when someone like Cho snaps? It is bound to happen. With as much bullying and picking that goes on in schools, there are gonna be people who seek retribution. There will be sociopaths born from the abuse endured by so many.
I am not justifying the behavior of Cho or any who came before him. What he did was terribly wrong. I am simply shedding light on a cruel undercurrent in our society that contributes to cultivating the dementia of these individuals. I am putting forward that bullying is wrong and cruel and needs to be strongly discouraged in schools.”
i wrote:
speaking of hitlar, his birthday was on the 20th. in response to your entry, i definitely believe that there is a heavy societal and community responsibility in preventing these types of behaviors. the behavior is the symptom of the problem. this isnt to forgo any culpability of the individual’s inhumane violence. it is clear that this final externalization of his serious pyschiatric trauma and illness was not the first time he had revealed himself in the public eye as troubled. His disturbing prior writings and behavior were overt (however crude) attempts for attention and help.
a simple parallel is to a child that wants something but his parents remain oblivious. the child will then begin acting out, often misbehaving, in order to achieve his desire. if his caregivers remain oblivious, the child will continue acting out in escalating extremes. this child’s caregivers are his known universe and community. They are responsible to address more than just his basic physical needs. For his overall present and future wellbeing, his psyche must be nurtured just as often.
It is apparent our country is both too apathetic and selfish to act as surrogate “caregivers” to their community. Sadly, it is equally apparent that looking out for the needs of others perpetuates our society’s sustenance. It fortifes its walls and protects those inside. While opportunity passes over somnolent witnesses, our ambivalence slowly ferments into a bitter cup of cultural demise.